Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Romance in the Air - An excerpts from the Khushi खुशी: In the Line of Sorrows

For Forward and #Synopsis of the 'Khushi खुशी: In the Line of Sorrows' please go to the following links.

http://classicjunkie-media.blogspot.com/2018/01/forward-and-synopsis-khushi-in-line-of.html
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I know my writings won't be a literature unless I am able to erase or delete the 'I".
Writing is a journey without milestones and destination unknown but treasures abundant and magical!

'I am a little child looking for nothing but happiness.' - Aakash

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 43
Romance in the Air


Tick!
Tick!
Tick!
Tick!
6th April 2000, Thursday!
Afternoon; 3:15 PM!
Somewhere near Lazimpat!

It is the same children's park where Aakash used to meet with his little buddies, around half his age or even lesser than that. It has been long time since he had not any such courtesy visit to the park. Those children could be saying – Aakash Dada is no longer our friend.

There are beautiful memories to look back.
He would run after poking at them.
The chase would last until his house.
The trail would be full of their cheers.
They would compete to outrun each other.
The girls who are not interested for a competitive run would just walk and sing.
And they are egotistical children who always tried to correct each other.
They would jump to joy and celebrate their freedom and innocence.
They would dance like a cub of bear.
It would be such a fantastic liberation of their innocence prompting their assertiveness.

"I will outrun you."
"He is pulling my hair."
"No!"
"Hey! Hey!"
"He! He! He!"
Hah! Hah! Hah!"
"Attack!"
"Ah!!!"
"We have to catch him or he would eat all the ice-cream!"
Some bespectacled ones would act more mature than they are. They would rather walk and assert some logics for their inability to be agile. It seemed they would grow as analyst or stop growing from where they are.

This, as such a play therapy, would reverberate abundance of positive energy in the ambience. And, their aura would be sparkling bright yellow. It is obvious that 'One willing to remain young and attractive should befriend people young at heart."

The grandeur of past is past.
One should always try to live in the Present.

He is lying carelessly in the dried-yellow grass. One cannot access whether he is actually enjoying the colourful collage in the sky or is bewildered. Anyway he is gazing the sky continuously. A half smile in his lips can project many complexities of the present.

Is he his planning some prank?
Or, is he nostalgic about the fun he had in the past?
He is not a person who exaggerates things.

The other side of his concern could also have reflected. And, he is basically sad today. He looks purple cold and pale helpless. But he seems intended to ignore every quantum of sorrows this moment. He wants to live in the present.

He knows he has been alone the whole life and that amidst the crowd of known people. The nostalgia of bitter-better days has gone over the frequent these days. He is living too much in the flashback of the past without realizing that it will traumatize more than relieving. He remembers how he was able to rise from the ashes of grieves.  The intoxicated mind is so slow that it is can analyze every strand of the guilt of the past or failure of the present.

Too much of dope/alcohol and even more guilt!
One can vomit any moment!

His droopy-drowsy eyes, very regular these days, have as such no expectations. But these two windows to the outside of world have started becoming yellowish these days. He could be suffering from any form of hepatitis. He has gone thinner and his hairs are seen growing yellowishly red. His skin has been molting like reptiles. Opiates, inhalants and gasoline have certainly taken a toll in his physical and physiological health.


Dogs are used to treat unfairly to untidy people. If they were to see a miniature man in untidy school wears, with mud drenched shoes and a body smelling of alcohol or narcotics, any dog would be instinctive to snarl at him. Some of the dogs brought by the joggers tried threatening him.

"Bow- wow!
Bow- wow!
Bow- wow!"

An Eskimo tries to gnaw his shoes and then suddenly tries to rip his big jeans-grey school bag. But he is kindly dragged away by the owner at the nick of time. The dog could have assumed him as a street child collecting junk in the park.  But the owner should have recognized him as a school boy. He doesn’t react and completely ignores to what is happening around. He lies there with his hands wrapped around his head. It is still not clear whether he is drowsing or day dreaming. There is a certain indifference reflected from the eyes.

He lies there carelessly.
Seriously he has not responded to anything since last one hour.
Is he meditating over the air passing through his nostrils?
All of sudden he wakes up and rubs his eyes.
He straightens his clothes and stretches his body.
Probably he has found some temptations to resolve.

And there in the distance of the park, upon a tree shade, he notices a company of boys and girls. They have formed a circular chain and are exchanging cigarettes and puffing like the beginners. Their indulgence is something to watch over. It has got a certain youthful attraction. The contrast in the group is provided by a shining brown-black haired girl.


He could have assumed that there is some celebration. Their body language is cheerful and hopeful, thus attracting more and more people around. Yes he is fascinated by their liberated laughs and the way their body languages are interacting.

It seems life is a picnic for them!
He probably thought he would be offered the cigarettes. There are also chances of finding friends in them. But he appears so rugged and his body is also stinking and trembling that he be disgusted and disapproved an entry. He knows groups are for likeminded and similar people.

Apart from drugs he has deprived himself from many necessities; particularly the comfort of sleep and cleanliness. He has not taken bathe for many days and seems not eaten that well. However with heavy steps, he walks slowly towards them. He wants to risk his ego.

As he approaches, he finds a welcoming gesture from their body language. He doesn’t ask for permission but sits silently near them though out of the circle. There are two boys and two girls.

They are on their own and cheering, laughing and sharing their embarrassing moments. He extends his friendships shaking hands with them though they seem not very much keen about this new man on the gate. However they have also not protested his presence.

Friendship heals emptiness; it is echoing loudly from their ambience.
He looks at them with hopeful eyes. He can smell the strong odour of the joints and that is what probably lubricating his intentions. Certainly he has a strong craving for weed these days. He gazes at them expecting to get his turn over the joints but also unwilling to intrude. He wants it to be offered. He is certainly delighted to have found a new company.

But are they willing to share and approve him in the company?
Will he be the fifth stoner in the company?

And all of sudden,

“And now, this Ganzadi will puff the joint for me!
You smell horrendously bad but the cuteness in you tells you are from a well to do family!
What have you drank?
,
You are short but you are cute!
He! He!”

The lean beauty has evenly placed pearl shaped teeth and a wider-purple coloured gum beneath the denture which has made her amazingly pretty. There is so much warmth in her giggles.

She smiles featuring her flatly-depressed sets of upper teeth and a mole in her nose. The aura around her is shimmering with an immense attraction. She blossoms and smells like lotus. She fidgets like a sparrow then and now and particularly when she is elated. There is a fascinating eagerness in her emerald eyes and a beautiful charm in her smile. Yes, she stands out from the group; this is what Aakash's eyes have been pursuing in her long since.

One can succumb easily to the distraction of fatal attraction than to illness and they become motivated to terminate their entire aspiration.
Attachment has always been the antithesis of ambition.
One is willing to come near but also go far.

She lights a joint and hand it over to Aakash and with a supplementary smile. She seems so straight forward and overwhelmingly friendly or maybe she knows the impression of first impression. And she denied any prospect of having been introduced.

"Well just had a bottle of cough syrup and a quarter of rum!
I haven't taken shower in two weeks!
So I might look litter shabbier, dirtier and smelly!
Sweat smells!
Never mind!"

Aakash knows honesty is the best policy.

"Sweat smells!
Ha! Ha!"

"Ho! Ho!"

"He! He"

"Blah! Blah! Blah!"

"Oh God you guys can chuckle even in the length and curve of a dog tail.
Horrendously funny!
The turmoil of adolescence!
Hah! Hah!"

"You too!"

"Ho! Ho!"

"He! He"

“Uff!
Is that so?
,
,
Slow down man!
The Top'h is going nowhere!
Puff slowly and enjoy the aroma and the taste, equally!
It is not meant just to exhaust the lungs and temper the volatile brain.

You must be immersed in it as in meditation and then only it becomes a medication!
Otherwise it is nothing more than a cheap shot of toxin!
And, instead of burning the poison in you, it will burn you!
If you can meditate, you are never addicted!

It is for only you!
Meditate!
This weed has a spiritual consciousness!
,
"
Aakash has to question over her assertion.

"Can drugs really have a spiritual consciousness?
I don’t think so?
Sounds as if you are a weed publicist!
You seem to be already Jhyapp!
He! He!"
,
,

"Well it is up to you how you take it!
I didn’t say the same about other types of drugs as alcohol or prescription but for this marijuana, I have a different opinion.
And this opinion is entirely mine; it's not an abstract from some authentic research journal.
If you think joints are the only entertainment available for you and get immersed in it, it is a drug indeed!
Publicly I don’t want anyone to abuse it or recommend it!
And I am not a weed publicist!
He! He!

But on the other half side of the truth, it is indeed a medicine.
Probably if not smoked but used as an active ingredient.
I have heard that it has been used in ayurvedic medicine from time immemorial.
I bet if it can't cure insomnia.
It can even cure diarrhoea, increase your appetite, decreases your pain.

Someone said to me that it can be helpful against certain cancer by reliving the side effects of radiotherapy or chemotherapy given against cancer.
Think it not only as recreational drug but also from the medical point of view!
But this should be supervised!
And it is true that if you over smoke it, it can cause respiratory problems.
Certainly when it is over smoked, it can cause the loss of motivation.
I can feel that now!
,
,
It's not our concern!
For the time being it is just better than the "Anandamide"
Ha! Ha!
,
,

Anyway dude, what do you do for living?
I don’t mean your earnings!
Unlike many girls I am not fascinated over the earnings of a man!
I think I can earn as a man and can be equally responsible as him!
Very uncommon in our culture!
He! He!
,
,
Where do you study?
I would be delighted if you don’t want to study like me!
I have stopped going to school.
Where do you stay?
Where are you heading for?”


It feels she doesn’t adhere to formalities. Certainly she is a chatterbox. She questions as if they are already very much known to each other. She is a type of girl who is warm to everyone and everyone think that they can fall in love with her without her being anyway offended.

She could be an attention seeker, a provocateur or who knows.
Certainly she is a chunk of many aspirations and dark fantasies.
The more the options, the variable is in her outcome.
The more you boil her, the stronger she appears.
And she seems not bound to a single ideal or idol
Her name is possibility.
These warm eyes can lure anybody to fall in love!
No! No! No!
She is not a flirt!
She is built that way!
She can't be molded to a shape by an external force but she is welcoming and free.
Her emancipation starts from within.
And she seems not ready now.
She is betting upon her options.
Yes she is in her sweet 16.
And all of sudden, Aakash hurls his answer!

“Miracle Academy!”

He has become very much short-spoken these days. He has been very much absorbed in the whirlpool of crossing thoughts probably instigated by the toxin in the joints. When addiction becomes too much, conscientiousness is lost. This is probably his present.

Everybody laughs at his answer and he seems unable to enjoy the humour. So he just throws an empty smile.

“So is the Miracle you are with!
I once tried to get enrolled in that school but couldn’t score enough in the entrance exam!
I am a dirty emotional man, poor at mathematics.

So, how about you?
You should have been a book-bug ever since.
But frankly telling, you don’t look anyway serious in studies, do you?"
This boy with pale-blue aura, short cute height and stout body questions about his own uncertainties. But Aakash seems ignorant of the call he knows not to answer. He is intoxicated, panic driven and irrational. Dread is reflecting from his eyes in the anticipation of heaven.

Drugs and dependencies have always been the antithesis of life!

And all of sudden he has an answer.

"I topped the entrance exam!
I am to appear SLC exam from the next week and here I am!
,
,
I was heading to the school to get the admit card for SLC!
But I don’t know if they will give me that piece of shit-chit!
For the time being, I think I have to abandon my plan; I can walk no-more!

We ransacked the school guard's quarter and the Discipline Incharge's cabin a few days.
And I have a deep intuition that I won't be getting the admit card.
Instead, I may be rusticated from the school for our burglary.
I believe they think me as the mastermind.
I do!

They know we were there and they have already recognized us.
I am very much panic stricken these days.
I think we have ruined our chances of appearing and surpassing the SLC.
The whole of my academic aspirations through these 12 years of toil has been ransacked to nothingness."


He falls into deep void of emptiness. His audiences are stunned.

How can a class topper ruin his chances to atop the pinnacle of his perfection?

This is certainly a dead end. And they are unwilling to react to it as a surprise. This could be their way of consolation. Or maybe they are very naïve about such situations or could have no opinions. For the moment they seem more attached to the puzzle bestowed by the purple haze of the smoke. The ember blazing in the cigarette is blue. They have gone imaginative but cold. But they will still pretend to be normal and calm.
,

"So intended to be a bad boy, a snob-punk, hunh?
You really don’t look studious though you try hard to pretend it with these spectacles!
Actually books and booze doesn’t fit each other!
But you seem an exception!

You are a poser not a punk?
Remember that!
,
I like bad boys!
They are daring and seductive!
He! He!

I believe they can at least dare to try what we can't even imagine!
,
,
We are always trying to pretend the goodness and trying to justify it.
They don’t care what they are; they just do what they want.
They don’t care what you think.
We are stuck; we suck, they fuck!

My mother won't let me the freedom of a boy.
My grandmother would despise if I stand and piss in the manner of a boy.
The lady in me is not allowed scratch my buttocks in the public.
Do you know how much we suffer for a public restroom?
We have become the slave of your own destiny.
My father wants to secure me as if he hasn’t done anything wrong towards any women in his life!
Hypocrite sucks and a bad boy fucks!"

This brown head lean is definitely rebellious. But a boy from the group with wheat-white fair complexion and eyes green like that of cat, seems provoked by her propositions for freedom.


"Everyone has other freedom to enjoy.
Certainly a woman has more doors to pleasure than a man.
,

Maybe these bad asses you are engrossed could be attention seekers!
And I know they are losers and posers!
Yes!
They have a tremendous fear to hide within.
So they entertain you with these cheap stunts and bewilder the innocence in you.
They want to distract you from the real them.
I warn you not be so much immersed in their stunts!
But obviously you can enjoy their drama.
You would know a character better by his performance!
Ha! Ha!"

The bluish-green eyed presented himself as a rival. He could be an envious person or a smart one. He knows to let them perform. Certainly, as it is reflected, he has been brought up in a hostile society that can't stand the charm of weirdness. The society is exhausting all its resources debating over some hypocrisy. It is an old man who wants all to conform to his madness. And there seems no easy jump away from it. Revolt against it has always lead partial or no success.

Society is the real dictator; all its propulsion is for conformity.
It is a shadow around all the directions of a man.


"And SLC too!
Wow!
I mean you always wanted to label these tough guys as stupid, lazy and crook!
Isn't it?
Ha! Ha!

Best of luck man!
We are not so intelligent and as analytical as you.
And believe me, 'O Pantomath (sar`wa`gya), please forgive me!"
Our achievement until now has been father purchased comfort.
 Now it is you turn!
Truly!
You can!
Go on!
Ha! Ha!

When defeat is near slandering becomes obvious!
Uff!"

She gives a thumbs-up as if this is a final offense before victory. She was offended but created a satire impromptu to derail the envy in him and also safe-land her ego. And the brownie was also intended to be a little funnier so that her remarks don't bother the rather possessive opponent. But the green eyed seems little more vexed than she had expected.

Aakash is certainly irritated with these half baked jokes and slandering.

It is the first time Aakash has asked any questions and that too in a rude tone.

"What about you?
What do you do?"

He wants to divert their attention from the topic. He could have seen an argument or a conflict in the nearest future.


"I left going to school a long ago!
I would have been appearing SLC with you if I had not left the school in grade 7 for this shit of junk.
There were no mother or father to guardian around and I was always ready to dare.

I am their only child which they expected to be a boy!
I tried being a boy and ended up here!
Look at me, with junkies like you!
Ha! Ha!

I have realized we can compete with boys in many forum of life but we can't totally live a boy's life.
Yes!"

"Where are they now?"

"Hong Kong!
As they reiterate often, they are busy earning for me!
And here I have been lying my local guardian in Kathmandu for 3 years in a row of attending school every day but instead wasting time with these people.
I have also a fake admit card for SLC this year!

But it's all duped and fabricated.
I pasted my photo over someone else's scanned copy of the admit card after changing the name.
If ever they ask about my SLC results, I would say I have failed and show them this card.
They won't bother to inquire anything more.

I don’t know how I would lie this to my parents.
Should I?
Or shouldn’t I?

You see grand personalities have grand secrets.
Hu! Hu!
,
,
Man my motto is to fly to HK and then start working, earning and enjoying!
Why would a dashing beauty like me want to waste her time in books?
I don’t belong in benches and tables!
I am a princess and should be treated likewise.
He! He!"

"Ha! Ha!"

"Ho! Ho!"

And she continues,
"The thing is I don’t understand any words written there accurately and quickly.
If you take a minute to understand a word or memorize it, I would take me 7 minutes to do the same.
So what is the point in wasting my precious time?
I am a literate and can be educated my way than their confusing-to be only grand way.
Like the comma in English, an autocrat in their language, they try to dictate everything in me with this or that pause.
Really I can't withstand the tyranny of their information.
Knowledge ought to be testable.
I don’t think the information they want to fill in us are testable.
Gruesome and annoying!"


The cat eyed satires instantly.

"To the Top'h stinking princess!
Fire the cannon in the name of her Majesty!
Also in the name of His Majesty!
Ha! Ha!

What is your name?
Ha! Ha!"

And more of loud laughs!
Probably it is their way of welcoming a new man in the group!
Some moments of silence and a very quick nap!
They seem exhausted.
There is always loss of motivation for drug dependents.

There is no such continuity in the sleep when it is induced by the drugs. And just after 20 or little more minutes, they wake up to start a new discussion. Education is the least interest topic for these young people. There is a strong determination in their eyes and a fire in their gut which push them to revolt. But they are almost bored at this time. Someone somewhere has to start a discourse. They fade too easy too often.

The green eyed trolls the momentum.


“Oie, Suraj Mijju!
I lost my mobile today!”

He is thrilled revealing his loss. Certainly these rich kids need some temptation to give momentum to their boring life. What is it that you fight for is what you live for. Yes they have got some issues to talk about and live for.

Thrills and suspense have been seen more sellable than realities; ironies
.
“How?”

This chuckling sparrow grills as if he has found something precious and not willing to share it with her. There is inconsistency between what is said and what is felt. There is inconsistency between what is thought, said and done. Their voices are slurred and their consciousness seems muted. They are more interested in exploration of their own grief than intricacies of life. Interests don't interest them anymore.


“Well, I was coming back in a cab after buying a pair of new shoes from the market.
On the way dad gave me a call from the France.
After receiving the call and expecting more of such calls, I had place the phone on the seat so that I could hear the ring.
You know I was too sloshed.
I couldn’t exactly remember where and when I left the cab.
I am sure I had forgotten the phone in the cab!
I know not the taxi number nor do I remember the face of the driver.
There is just a hazy image of him in my head.
Yes but I do know the colour of the taxi.
It was crimson red!"

He looks dejected but also relieved. He is not that worried maybe because he is expecting a fantastic new cell phone. He knows these little buzz machines are little less than scarce and everybody can't offer at this time. But maybe he is willing to risk his ego and demand for a new one.

“Asshole dumb!
Your dad has enough property to be spared.
Don’t worry!

He will soon send you an expensive one from France!
Or why don’t you ask him to send a new one?
The cab driver won't return it back!
They know the price and the value of such phones.
It is indeed a very new accessory in Nepal.
Most people are readily fascinated by the prospect of having a telephone set that is mobile.
And believe me one has ever returned them!

As until 2000 it has been a comfort gadget in Nepal.
But don’t worry he would be washing the dishes in a French restaurant and send you his hard earned money!
Obviously you can lose it time and again!
And believe me you are making him proud!
Ya!
Don’t hesitate for a claim your birth right.
'
,
,
Please have a compassion for people who are having hard times in foreign countries.
They are not just a robot, a mechanical device, printing dollar bills for you.
They are people with head and heart.
Not only you but they also desire to receive gifts.
Obviously they would be proud of your meager savings!
Believe me!

And be thankful for them because they are sending a lot of remittance back in the country.
You should acknowledge them for the privilege you are getting to studying in an English medium boarding school.
Do you copy Samrat? ”

All of sudden Suraj could have broken the silence may be because he was intended to break his ego. Either he is too idealistic or envious but certainly he warns against the splurge of hard earned money. He acts a guardian.

Samrat,
“Oh shit!
Why do you care?
We earn, we spend and we learn.
Mijju, obviously it is hard earned money but our money.
Someday when he is old, I would have to splurge huge amount of money for his health.
Man this is a private expense and obviously there is a private bliss and pride.
,
,
Yes I would ask him to send money to buy one.
I am also planning to buy a digital camera.”
Suraj,

“Then we will take your snaps when you are pissing up in a bottle in at the corner of your room.
He fears the dark!
Coward!
Ha! Ha! Ha!

Shouldn’t we Aabha?”

Suraj expects an approval from the redhead. Everyone approves his satire with a loud laugh.


                The restless Aabha wants to be attended everytime and anytime. She speaks as if trying to demote or flirt but in fact this is her way of being witty. And she has been accepted.

“Handsome Suraj, you look very fresh today.
Eaten something special or applied some ointment on the skin?
Whitening cream!
He! He!
You missed the lipstick!
Good luck!
Ha! Ha!

Leave it!
Aaa..'

She is exhausted as quick as she is elated.
Suraj,
"O Aabha, please stop digging me!
Spare me for some love and compassion!
You lust for attention and control is overbearing!
,
,
Look how thin I have become.
Like a ghost!
Just like the stick-you!
Hu! Hu!"

Suraj did an excellent counterattack with this satire.

Aabha diverts the concern of discussion.

"Rekha if you got a Cannon please give it to the hero.
He seems not contented!
He is not laughing with us or at us!
Diseased is his mind.
Look how he stares!
Like a Ghost!
He seems a man with intense lust and control, isn't it Suraj.
Look at the furrows of anger and sorrows in his forehead.

Woo, I am afraid entirely from your gaze.
Protect me friends.
Ha! Ha!
And we all look like the one; we have been the ghost of our pasts.
Ha! Ha!!

We live in the past too often because it was too good!”

Aakash hurls his grimace and gives a tangy smile. Everybody bursts in laughter again.

"Ha! Ha!"
"Ho!Ho!"
"He! He!"
"Ah!Ah!"

Different personas, different laughter!

No one is there to limit their humour. They are allowed to be free birds.

Rekha throws a cigarette.
Aakash,

“It was very nice of you Rekha and thank you Aabha.
I was really feeling sick today!
I needed to blaze more.”

And all of sudden, the ambience reflects the gloom of Aakash.
Everyone seems sympathetic over the plight of Aakash.

“That was the last stick and meant for Suraj!

Rekha presents the stock detail. She seems to have a possessive concern about Suraj. And probably she doesn't like the presence of a new intruder.

“I don’t mind sharing it with you man!
And thank you Rekha!”

Suraj extends his friendly courtesy in a high-pitched tone, mimicking the sound of a woman. And he didn’t meant to be mean but warm. However Rekha flings a cold smile. Maybe she doesn’t acknowledge the value of bromance.

"Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Everybody laughs to applaud his talents.

Suraj has his tendencies to irritate.

“Hey Samrat, the smart rat!
I don’t know why you are some rat have eyes like that of cat!
You bluish-green vulture, your name doesn’t match to your persona!
I hope your face doesn’t match that of nearest neighbor.
Meow!!
,
,
Ha! Ha!"

And again,
"Do you know my dad is returning back from India on the 24th April?
I guess he would be willing to know about my performance in SLC!
But already calculated, it will be all shit!

Aakash, can we meet after SLC to talk about your exams?
Yes, your exams!
I would tell your experiences as mine to my father if he interrogates!
,
,
Ah!
He is so strict.
Rekha, he won't allow stay with friends.
And, no friends at home; he is committed to that.
He is a control freak and a possessive man.

Maybe his past was full of scarcity and now he has added that poverty to his persona.
Sometimes I feel so poor despite the abundance at our home.

Either you study or play badminton.
If not we have to help him in gardening.
I despise his passion for gardening.

And sometimes he drags me to his business outlets.
He wants me to be a compassionless businessman like him.
The way he treats his staff is I believe totally merciless and unfriendly.
He is squeezing their passion.
I have other aspirations which I want to nurture, which I want to be supported by him.

I feel his practicality has money but not hope.
I am an artist inside and whatever he does it won't erase the vulnerability in me.
I am an emotional person.

How can I tell him that he can't manufacture a better-him in me!
Don’t know why I am so terrified in front of him!
And he never tried to befriend me.
I have just become a subject of his kindness.

I don’t know what he would be his reactions if he knows I have left the school a very long ago.
Aabha it seems your academic destiny and mine started the same time and is at the same pace.
We just have empty mark-sheets in our credit.

The only contrast is - you want to be a business girl and enjoy!
I want to enjoy the pleasure of other.
I don’t want to act a gardener and be the master-monster of apathy.
I want to flow like the Koshi River, I want to fly like the lophophorus and I want to run like the cheetah.
,
”
Aabha seems to have taken his words into her heart. Suddenly she seems very worried.

     And Suraj tries to lift her spirit.                                                                                              


“Cheer up girl!
Nothing is going to happen!
I mean the change won't wait for you!
So why do you worry?
The heat of worries won't cook your curry!
Ha! Ha!

Wherever an ascetic goes, he will eat the rice.
The past was memorable for you and the future will be good for you.
Believe me!
Ha! Ha!

Don’t be angry of the past and or worry about future.
They had sailed smoothly; they will1.
Live in the present!
It they are meant to happen they will!

And believe me your father won't know anything about your cheatings!
Hope mine does too!

But were you referring that there is going to be a break in our meetings?
I suppose this doesn’t imply a break in our friendship!

It hasn’t been a full half a year since we are friends!

We all met at this park this January!
Am I not correct Rekha?”

Aabha,
"Uff, Uff!
Yogi Surajaananda!"

Aakash,

"Oh! It was first day of meeting you guys and you are on the verge of discontinuation!
I thought I finally found my friends.
And here we are.
Unlucky me!
He! He!"

Suraj is concerned about the fate of their friendship. May be he knows,

People usually take acquaintances as friendships!
But friendships are meant to be very responsible!

Aabha,
“We mustn’t stop there man!
I will anyway come to meet you fooling my parents.
They won't be here in Nepal for more than two weeks!

And more ever I can’t quit this joint for a single day.
I am in love with its aroma and taste!
Does it smell like that of smell?
I don’t know.
He! He!

And can't waste the friendship of Top'h dealers like you!
Ha! Ha!
Should I?”

Aabha is uncertain about the course of their friendships but she seems certain towards finding the dope of amusements. There is indeed a quotation in Nepali referring the value of friendships and relationships for most of the people.

'Some acquaintances become new in 9 days and they are forgotten in 20 days!'

Maybe Aakash has found some inquisitive intelligence in her which could be fascinating.
There could be the possibility of impulsive attraction.
Or he just wants to be involved in a practical discourse for the he is free.

'Obviously no one is exempt of intentions and that is the human rhythm.'
Are there chances of romantic interference?
But he has questions to ask and possibilities to navigate.

"Well if you are not going school, how do you spend the time?
What is your passion?
What do you like or dislike?"
Aabha,
"Oh, Hero!
I am thrilled that you asked some questions about me!
Otherwise, no one ever bothered to ask me anything about my personal self.
Maybe because they think they know everything about me from the exterior that I am!
And obviously which I am not.

I am selfish, I am lazy, I am temperamental and I have too much of vanity in me that I am beautiful.
And in the other hand I am an insecure, fragile girl who competes for everything but not love.
But I love to call myself romantic and maybe other are calling me gold diggers.
,

You see, I am a cold bitch.
,
,
I decide emotionally and I suffer; I know that.

Don’t fall for me!
You will despise the randomness in me.
He! He!
,
I like to play chess!
I am very good with chicken; I mean eating!
I can devour as much as chicken that I weigh.
Oh yes, and I am somehow a good cook!
I like to believe that!
,
,
I am very irritating!
When I am around, people should talk about me, praise my beauty and listen to me!
You could have already sensed that I am a chatterbox.

You may be thinking of giving me the name radio Nepal but I hope you had given that name to a lot of somebody.

,
Most of the time, I think of myself!
I won't allow people to offend me!
I can be very selfish and mean at many times.
I can quarrel to any extent to get my demands fulfilled.

If you don’t talk to me for 9 days, I wonder who you are!
And if you don’t talk to me for 20 days, I forget you!
Easy, simple!

I always sense this for that!
I am autistically very obstinate but with this Top'h I can open up to the miles.

I am damn straight!
I like to call myself honest.
My motto is – I love you but forget me!
Ha! Ha!"

Suraj reacts.

"Well she is humanly human like most of us!"

Aakash,
"Well honesty is the tangent where we meet.
I think I am a straight line – the tangent and you are that curve that has tendencies to meet; may be once.

But for sure you are unbearable!
Ha! Ha!
And this oddity is what attracts to fall in love.
May be it is an Aabha pull.
But believe me if I fall for you at this time of my life it would be called 'Love at the times of Crime'.
Leave it!
Ha! Ha!"

Samrat,
"Oh you, you, you mathematical genius!
And a self proclaimed criminal!
Complicated!
Indeed!"

Aabha just smiles.

And everybody laughs.

"Ha! Ha!"
"Ho!Ho!"
"Hu!Hu!"

She inquires with her trademark husky voice. The surface of her larynx may have been clogged with silk-butter or whatsoever dope or infections she had acquired.

"Why are you looking only at her like this?
Am I beautiful not?
I am offended!
This beauty is to grace but you missed the chance.
He! He!"

The flirt-talkative in Rekha seems inspired. She seems willing to affirm her self-importance. And obviously drug is the reason behind her low self esteem that she has to post she own importance.

It seems there will be a succession of questions towards Aakash.

Suraj,

"Everyone falls in love with Aabha!
Didn’t you?
Well she is not offended even if you propose her!
She would click a notorious smile in her face and reject you!

Yes indeed you can love her but ultimately forget her!

That – I love you but forget me!

A cruel rejection!
Ha! Ha!"

Samrat,

"Why are you bestowing so much of compliment only to her?
You see there is Rekha who is ever ready to fall in love and at any time!
I hope it is not a two-minutes-ready-instant-noodles-love!
I always see you full of hope, isn't it Rekha?
He! He!

But you see it's hard to endure Aabha's idiosyncrasies.
She is mad most of the times unlike today when she is bright.
And obviously as her name goes, she ought to be always bright and shining but no!
She seeks attention and admiration and that is how she enjoys the flirtations.

You should be feeding her with compliments 5 times a day.
Or who knows the lioness in her could roar any time and maul you with her sharp pointed nails.
Woo! I am already frightened!
Ho! Ho!"

Aabha,

"Too much about me!
Sugar can be bitter, remember.
Please, please just give me smaller doses of compliments throughout the day or I may be exhausted.
Ha! Ha!"

Samrat,
"Did you fall for her?
Anyone is willing to personalize her beauty but she won't let it be!
Maybe she is waiting for her someone special!

Once I was fatally attracted to her!
But it lasted just a week!
I thought it is better make her sister!
And obviously she is a better sister than a lover, aren’t you?

She is utterly selfish!
She hurts you and isn’t even apologetic.
If they know this no one would even dare to think her as his girlfriend or a wife!
So beware!

Better start preparing to be her father!
Ha! Ha!"



Aabha,

"Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Aakash,
"Love at the times of drug!
Impossible!
Yes she is bright, warm, fascinating and way more complicated than you describe!

And she just tried to gamble me with her smile.
Luckily I am safe and on my own.
I have read somewhere – Love is a delusion, a false belief.

And I am thrilled with the charisma of daylight which she is but…

That nose of hers looks more or similar like a question mark!
She has such a soft and glowing skin.
I would love to prize her skin for a pair of shoes.
I am sorry I have such a murderous ideation these days.
Ha! Ha!

And yes she seems brutally honest and rude!

Well as you said anyone can fall in love and she is not offended, indeed is very appealing.
Maybe she has discouraged nearness as she could be having bitter experiences with affairs.
She can sense the swine in you.
He! He!

And you know intuitions and sensitivities are strength of a woman, the ability to love someone is her power!
At least if she can acknowledge their loves she would have good memories in life when her charm fades.

Yes she can be said as fascinatingly beautiful.
I mean not that awesomely beautiful.
But her eyes are warm and restless.
Yes it can flirt with your emotions and lubricate it!

But the thing is I like ladies like this beautiful Rekha who is short but warm, talks very little and has a lot to offer!
She can be a power-pack deal!
Ha! Ha!

I mean she can definitely pour love to her loved ones.
She has everything to offer.
Isn't it Rekha?
So…
Ha! Ha!"

Aabha,

"Ha! Ha! Ha!
You are too mean!

I thought you are a gentleman but you are such a seasoned flirt.

Uff my beauty!
No one loves me!
No one cares and compliments me!
Oh, I am such a poor, ugly little girl!
Please have a little kindness and give me a little attention.
Oh please!

Hu! Hu!

You have to value the beauty in me and dream and yearn for me.
A little more please!

Ha! Ha! Ha!"



Rekha intrudes.
"Drama queen!
Why are you so irritating and even adamant of your philosophies?

Why don’t you answer it in simple yes or no?
Don’t be so overdramatic or your life will be a hell when you meet that Drama King!
Drama King for a drama queen; as straight as it can be told!
He will make a hell out of your shit.

And Aakash, do you have a crush on her?
Let's be straight, please!"

The envious in Rekha is enflamed with her anger. It looks like she is striving for her own presence to be felt. And yes she is starving for compliments to pour from the opposite sex.

A dose of little compliments everyday is very necessary for everyone especially women and artists to thrive and survive.
Compliments can alleviate the frustrations and prosper the wellness.
And don’t hesitate to shower it on your loved ones but be true to what you say!

Aabha,
"Uff, my better rival!
Get the hell out of my way!
He! He!"

She tries to frighten her opponent with a hysterical scream. The catfight is set to take its momentum. The anger in their eyes reveals that both are unforgiving ladies. And it seems they are willing to take on the last duel.

Aakash,
"…
Is this a prank upon me?
Are you betting upon the number of proposals rejected by her?
Rekha?"

The looming scuffle pacifies when Aakash intrudes into this situation all of sudden. Revenge is of the slightest concern among warring women. Bickering and bitching has the greatest probability.


Aabha,
"Uff you are the first one who didn’t fall for me!
I am thoroughly annoyed!
,
Please fall in love with me!
Please! Please!
Ha! Ha!"

When women are elated they become fluid. Then they shape themselves as the shape of the container and can contain anyone in her. Enormity is their name. She fidgets like a sparrow and this restless panning is what makes her unique.

Aakash,

"Love to praise but tell the truth!

Have you ever known anyone having all the abundances in life has fallen in Love?
No!
I am not an exception!
I have abundances of scarcities!
I should have fallen for you a long-long ago but not now!
And I know I have known you way before this meeting.
Your presence and image was always there in me.
Just I saw you today.

I am immersed with my own problems and desperate to solve it!
If I survive, I will come to meet you Aabha!

It seems my own unguarded thoughts will harm me more than my enemies.
I know all my rationale thoughts have been puddled at the moment.
But they will be crystal clear one day; I believe.

But I know and I will come to meet you one day.
Not that I yearn to fall in love with you but I want to cherish the friendship you can offer!
If we are friends first, we become lesser controlling which means happiness and freedom will be in abundance.

Friendship is the purest form of relationship.

I know there is an unlimited chance of bonding with you!
You are a fluid woman.

I will let you know if I fall in love!

Will that be Ok?
,
,

Is there an obligation to fall in love with you?

Everybody should fall in love with you once!?
Ha! Ha!
I should think over that prospect now!
Ha! Ha!
One thing is for sure!
You clicked a romance in me!

Ho! Ho!
But I stink too much!
I stink too ugly!
He! He!"

Aabha,
" Ha! Ha!
Jyaaa!
Uff!

As if I can't live without him!
He! He!

I give you a chance!
You yellow, yellow dirty fellow!
Fall in love with me!
Or stay alone forever!
Remember you will be thinking about me every day from this day to the end of your day and regret of not having utilized the chance to fall in love with me!

He! He!

Time and tides wait for none!


That is a command from this Queen!
Ha! Ha!"

Aakash,

"Yes, your Majesty!
I should!
Ha! Ha!
,
I may regret not having fallen in love with you but you will regret not having been friend with me!

I have heard woman say this many times - When a man promises he fulfills it.
Are you trying to instigate the stubbornness in you?
?
As if, I can't live without her!


"Ho! Ho!'
"Ha! Ha!"
"He! He!"

Suraj, Samrat and Rekha accompany their echoes of chuckling mood in the ambience. And Aabha shines with her signature smile.

Many moments of silence or the moments of regrets!
Aakash struggles to stand up.
He struggled with stuttering a lot during the conversation.
His eyes are drowsy and so his aura.
He seems disorienting; an emergence of mental blackout!
He finally stands.
They are worried.

                        Rekha, the unofficial queen of the moment and the grace of the gracious praised as a power-pack deal a little while ago has some responsibility towards the man she is infatuated at the moment. She must have been smitten by the untainted admiration bestowed by Aakash. She warms up her aura bring forth coziness.
Rekha,
"Where are you going?
Why won't you survive?"
Aakash,

"I don’t know!
Just can't sit here immobilized by the panic conferred the weed!
I have to reach somewhere!"

His speech has already slurred. And probably he doesn’t want to be controlled in his vulnerabilities. He has become quite volatile/

"What about your SLC admit card?
Are you not going to school to get it?"

Samrat shows his concerns.

And Aakash may not know he is answering.
"I don’t want to appear it anymore.
Fed up with the prospect of stabilities in life!
I am a born ascetic.
I should say I am doomed to be a Jogi.

Wherever I go, I will only dine on rice!
I need no certificates that will spoil me with arrogance.
Heee!

When change is only permanent, why to struggle for the impermanence in permanency?
I just quit the credit stampped the papers.
I know what I know.
I will learn more through self experiencing than being an audience of 3rd Division teacher.

And I suppose they will not give either me or them the cards.
They are sanctum of apathy and pitiless educated craps!

Aabha, if I survive I will have to dupe a card like you!
I don’t know thereafter!
I have to prepare for some explanations like you!"

Rekha,
"What is your name?"

"Aakash Pratap Shah!"

Aabha,
"Why wouldn’t you survive?
Please tell us if you need any support and help from us."

"I don’t know!
Life has been so difficult for me!
I am sorry my friends I have to go!"

He walks aways without a slightest consent. They are speechless.

Pasa (kf;f) – A Newari word meaning friend or close buddy.
Jogi ( hf]uL ) – Ascetic; Celibate, one who has renounced all the materialistic attachment in life and has joined Yogic traditions.
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